October 22, 2014
Retirement

People look forward to the time that they can retire and enjoy life. However, frequently retirement becomes boring, frustrating, and lacking purpose. The adjustments necessary take individuals by surprise.

Life coaches help with the transition in the form of counseling to guide them towards their aspirations.

Amazingly the research shows that if one does not find some diversions to consume the hours, then the life expectancy decreases to five years from the retirement date. Unfortunately my husband was one of the ones who decided that sitting at home doing nothing was his goal and he died exactly five years from his retirement.

In many cases a type of mourning similar to Elizabeth Kubler Ross’s research happens. It is the loss of a life style which can create the anger, blame, denial, bargaining, and if the last stage of acceptance does not occur, one remains in the painful throes of mourning.

Relationships suffer from the intense reaction of daily contact without any relief from one another. In the past work acted as a buffer by relieving the day of all the idiosyncrasies that were tolerable on a limited basis. Now they are glaringly present and need to be updated to develop new skills in order to create the desired harmony and peace.

Males focus on the end result and women focus on the journey. That is most evident when couples travel together. Even though there is no time schedule to return to a job, the man will often want to push the driving time , fitting in long agonizing days - in order to reach the determined place as quickly as possible. A woman will instead want to stop and visit attraction sites along the way, making the travelling time longer, but more enjoyable. In that manner the couple has a compelling distraction to discuss. Long-term relationships often have run out of appealing conversation so that the extended hours of non-stop driving becomes painful and irritable to both.

Giving each other space and time to pursue different activities serves two purposes: it entertains each spouse and it also gives them something novel to share with each other.

Lastly, finding interests to share in common helps unite the couple so that honeymoon time may roll around again in the twilight years.