November 22, 2002


LETTING GO

During my presentation at the Bellport Middle School, it was brought to my attention that the recent sniper attacks in the Washington, DC area caused alarm on Long Island. The media fans the fires without putting the incidents in proper prospective. Frightened youngsters (and often adults) do not prioritize the danger. Were people concerned for their safety by the 1999 Turkey earthquake or the horrendous California earthquake in the U.S.? We have earthquakes here, but we prioritize and realize the likelihood is that we will have a minimal chance of an occurrence. Fear, worry, or trying to control every event must be individually addressed.

My Dad always said, “When it is your time to die, you will, and not before. Plane accidents happen, and one person walks away unscathed. It wasn't their time.” I've lived by his adage and have flown frequently and internationally. I never worry. I have Let Go of the fear.

I believe, the most important lesson that each of us must learn as we experience life's concerns is; Letting Go.

We have to Let Go of our children as they mature so that they can learn how to cope with life when we are no longer there to assist them. We have to let our children get married, go to college, move to another location. It grieves us to release our loved ones, but they will return, never fear!

We have to Let Go of our friends and relatives as they pass over. Religion helps us heal because most faiths declare that we will meet again.

We have to Let Go of relationships which sour or are traumatic.

We have to Let Go of situations that will take us nowhere or cause us problems.

We have to Let Go of disagreements and the resulting frustration and anger. Negative emotions lead us in a downward spiral.

We have to Let Go of fear that grips us that is based on a real or imagined foundation.

Otherwise you die daily instead of just once.

How do you Let Go?

Ask yourself: Can anything be done to improve your feelings? If so, Do It!

If you are filled with negative feelings towards someone else, do those thoughts or emotions hurt the other person? Do They make your life happier? If the response is negative to both questions, Let Go of the event. You are only hurting yourself. If someone has hurt you, you have empowered that person to hurt you constantly by continuing to nurse the wound, instead of letting the festering heal. Instead of the hurt happening just once, it now damages you daily.

Remove yourself from vicious people or circumstances either temporally or permanently, whichever suits the happenstance.

Letting Go is learning to: prioritize and restructure events, communicate effectively, control your own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Build your own self-esteem and self-confidence. Letting Go is realizing that when you control these aspects of life, you have the greatest control over others, by not attempting to control them. It is the greatest paradox in life. It works because you are creating a better world by your positive deeds and the likelihood is that you will now lead instead of follow. PLEASE NOTE: Some of these suggestions apply to adults with adults only. Children need all the guidance they can get.