November 25, 2008
November 25, 2008
I fell in love in 3rd grade. He crushed me by saying that he did not love me. When my daughter came home from third grade and told me that the love of her life was talking to another girl, l commiserated with her and told her of my experience. We cried together. Parents underestimate the strength of that first love which lasts a life time in ones memory.
However, for the children who have had their love reciprocated in grade school or during the teen years and then marry, another situation sometimes develops. The immaturity of the relationship does not always mature with the years. The couple may get stuck with the responses that they would have had as a youngster rather than as an adult.
For those youth who finish school and go on to other endeavors culminating in careers or jobs; the growth cycle of self confidence and independence becomes more open to discourse and tolerance. It does not necessarily mean that everyone who waits to develop their character has a well rounded relationship. There are difficulties in any partnership. However, the circumstances of a close knit childhood and marriage may limit certain couples from experiencing a well rounded appreciation of life.
If the years have stagnated the relationship each spouse might try to think of something new or different to discuss or do and then share it. Try exciting adventures that you might not ordinarily experience such as a motorcycle ride, kayaking, or riding the Grand Canon rapids.
New relationships cause infatuation born out of the fact that there is tension in not knowing what the other person will do in any given situation. While there is comfort in the ability to complete each others sentences that often creates boredom in the bedroom as every move is anticipated before it happens. Apathetic relationships may need a jolt. I do not suggest the jolt of cheating. There are many manuals on how to improve ones sex life that will give suggestions that may be selected to please both partners.
For all couples, but especially those who were bitten with the puppy love lasting fever; try talking things over, keeping up with the current affairs of the day, reading relationship books. Instead of being joined at the hip in all activities, try finding a hobby that each partner may explore separately and then share the excitement of the new challenge with your partner.
If all that fails to broaden the objectivity of the life style then seek a counselor to monitor your issues so that they can be resolved.