January 6, 2014
January 6, 2014

Role Confusion

The audience that this article will address are the men who are stuck in the past with the Traditional Role concept of marriage whose wife has jumped ahead to 2014 into a Partnership Role. As long as both spouses agree on their marital roles, there is no problem.
The issues begin when one of them, usually it is the wife, who demands and expects emotional support, and activities together (i.e. Partnership Role). The man, whose mindset is the Traditional role: financially supporting the wife, making all major decisions and having male friendships rather than a friendship with the wife; is now adrift with his wife’s dissatisfaction. Especially when she is still not contributing financially and living in every other manner as a Traditional housewife. That is: she is a stay at home mom while performing all the home duties, of cooking, cleaning, and caring for the children’s needs.
The wife has the time to keep up with the current views. Therefore, the husband has a difficult time understanding why and what the woman wants and needs from him.
Since the wife began with the Traditional Role which she lived by accepting it: it became an unwritten contract between the two.
Often it is a misconception on the woman’s part because the Partnership Role includes equal obligations from each gender as far as outside employment, household duties,and child care. In that both parties are equally responsible for everything that marriage includes, they become-as equals. Therefore the new life style creates respect and friendship that puts the wife on the same footing in the formally male dominated world.
Resentment is created when individuals take pieces from one role and parts of another role and combine them without mutual acceptance and mutual obligatory behaviors Therefore the male resents his spouse combining the best of two different roles without taking on the obligations of the Partnership Role.
This conflict causes miscommunication since the issue is murky for both. Resolution is difficult unless each has a clear understanding of the cultural divide. Each role - must be balanced by the corresponding role dictated by the role pattern the couple lives by. When either spouse takes bits and pieces of roles from the Traditional roles, the Companionship roles, and the Partnership roles: discord results. In order to resolve this role confusion each must be willing to adjust and conform to an alternate mutual compromise.

Check out my former articles on the obligations required for harmony in each role group. If you are unable to locate the articles on roles here is a brief summary.

Traditional role: The male works and calls the shots on all major decisions including sex, home and social activities.
The female is not employed outside the home. Her main activities are dictated by the husband, her family and her children’s needs.
The Traditional role frequently fosters feminine dissatisfaction as the culture around her addresses issues close to her heart. Such as romance and emotional support which is not included in the Traditional role.

Companionship role: The wife’s position is to network and support her husbands career. The husband provides the finances so that the woman may beautify herself. As well as being expected to be well versed in the daily political, business and social events so that she can help advance her husband’s career.
It is a romantic union.

Partnership role: Each gender contributes as equally to the union as is possible given physical differences. Equal participation and respect in every way is the main stay of the roles. Daily life including sex is determined by both through continual communication.