January 9, 2004
January 9, 2004
Even though my dog was alive, twenty four hours after I thought my
dog had died, I still felt I was mourning his death. Negative emotions last according to the degree of the trauma felt. False illusions or impressions are as devastating as if they were real.
The emotions generated are the same. Partners believing that the other has cheated and no longer loves them is as if they did actually cheat. Therefore the process of getting past the shock is the same as the actual situation. Once the veracity is proven, then the emotional luggage must be handled as if it had happened.
Unfortunately, there are other complications arising. The accuser now
feels ashamed and guilty of making the accusation, but mostly for
feeling angry when it was unjust. Notice my analogy of how I felt
upset long after I knew my dog was fine. Our body works on chemicals
and electrical stimulation and as such the somatic self can not rid
itself of the chemicals (which are are emotions) by simply reminding
the brain that it no longer needs to be concerned. In fact the more
we remind ourselves either with thought, or shame, or guilt, the more we focus on the subject that brought about the reaction. A cyclic
process is set into motion between the thought, brain, and body. Like the wheels of a train making the same clickity clack sound continually, the somatic psychic self makes the endless rounds until a disconnect closes the mental gate that now disallows the information to reiterate.
HOW TO SHUT THE GATE:
First; one must stop focusing on the emotion or the problem.
Whenever there is a unpleasant thought, remember a happy one. If this can not or does not give you the results you wish try the
Secondly; Make a list of every tiny, minor, and major trigger that
creates an uncomfortable feeling. Give each one a mark according to
the degree of hurt it causes you to feel. 100% will be the worst and
1% up will be for the least. Now that the list is made, get a
relaxation tape and put your whole physical and mental self into a
state of meditation. Imagine yourself somewhere where you are the
happiest. Many people dream of the beach with the five senses
creating a positive illusion in exchange for the negative one that was irritating. Spend seconds on the traumatic feeling and minutes on the positive one.
WARNING: A twenty minute meditation decreases the heart rate to the
equivalent of seven hours of deep sleep and just as when you awake
slowly before doing vigorous exercise, one should give oneself
another twenty minutes of slow activity so that the body can acclimate to a normal waking heart rate. However if one heeds that warning and meditates just before sleeping with the exchange of negative emotions for those of positive ones, one will have a delicious nights sleep and a calm relaxing day. It may take a week or a month of working at the positive format, but the results will be a healthier more enjoyable life.