February 15, 2015
February 15, 2015
The majority of people have fallen into the Victim Mentality at some point in our lives. "S/he, they took advantage of me/hurt me/ abandoned me/ betrayed me, etc." The problem for some people is that they are constantly in the Victim state. It may be that they feel everyone is betraying them or only one specific person is betraying them. In many cases, that person is absolutely correct. There is proof of betrayal. The Balanced person reacts by eliminating the situation, usually by removing themselves from it permanently. However, the Victim who chooses to be abused or feels they have no choice to remove themselves have the Victim Mentality.
The person who has the Victim Mentality feels helpless and prefers to blame him/her self rather than leave the hurtful situation.
The Victim Mentality feels that they have no control because they have abandoned their own ability to control the situation.
The difference between the Balanced person and the Victimised person is that the Balanced person chooses to find a way to control his/her life. The Balanced personwill have the strength to pursue different options that are not painful.
However the Victim, will continue to mull over every detail, lose sleep, lose weight, and hopelessly hang on to the agony: Instead of throwing the agony away and walking away. The Victim is often caught up in resentment and wanting to obtain answers for why the other person has treated them in that manner. Therefore, the Victim returns to the scene of the crime over and over again to be abused over and over again.
The Victim does not feel entitled to happiness or empowered to use their will power to say "NO". The Victim is looking to "fix" an unfixable situation. The Victim is looking for love or acceptance when none is forth coming. The Victim in these cases are the ones who have tried repeatedly to improve a relationship without the co-operation of the partner. The Victim does not want to give up trying to improve what has become obvious to everyone else in their life that this is situation is unfixable.
The Victim needs to identify the message to his/her self that keeps him/her in the Ring fighting a fight that was lost long ago. The messages differ according to ones background.
The messages might be: "Be kind regardless of how you are treated," "Be Fair" Those messages can get misused in situations where there is definite abuse recognized by the family, the community, etc.
The messages might be: "I am not worthy", "I am not pretty enough", "I am not sexy enough". That person is so busy looking to find out why they are rejected that they disempower them self. In other words the messages that one gives oneself can prevent that person from using their right to CHOOSE their own destination and life.
EMPOWER yourself to CHOOSE life in a peaceful manner. Let go of the Fear that keeps you a victim. Let go of the Fear that you will be alone. Once you overcome the Fear, others will flock to you, to be with you.
Continue to improve yourself toward a happy , healthy life style and leave behind the fear and hurt of being a victim. Then you are no longer a Victim and the hurt slowly fades away.