March 1, 2018
Silence


IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO FIX AN ISSUE WHEN ALL YOU GET IS SILENCE.

Clients make appointments to repair a problem. There are times when one or the other or both of them do not wish to bring up an issue in which-in the past-there had been an emotional eruption. However, expecting the Counselor to read their minds and determine the issue out of thin air is expecting God to intercede.

The Counselor is forced to resort to guessing games to determine what the issue might be. At best, the Counselor can only generalize as to what the problem might be.

The Counselor can determine from the silence that one of the issues is that the clients are having trouble presenting the issue in a controlled manner. In that case communication skills are taught.

The Counselor might determine the issue to be incompatibility-perhaps due to the fact that opposite sexes have gender communication problems. Then gender differences originating in the brain are explained, along with how the female needs to express herself to help the male understand what she wishes and visa-versa.

The Counsellor may determine that the issue is finances and therefore explain budgeting to the couple.

If you are frustrated by these explanations, so is the Counselor when dealing with people who want to be coy. It is not impossible to help individuals, but it helps them better when they are open about their needs.

Counselors listen to various misdeeds and are not judgmental - at least the best ones are not judging you - so open up, spill your guts and the clean up will amaze you.