March 31, 2015
March 31, 2015
The 9/14 AARP issue entitled, "THE MISSING", describes a complex mourning due to the unresolved issues dealing with the death of a loved one. It lightly touches on the unresolved issues of a relationship break-up or disappearance.
Losing a loved one as a child or an adult which is perceived as an unfathomable circumstance leads to mourning beyond the Elizabeth Kubler Ross description of stages of mourning. Adults describe the loss as having no closure. That is, not understanding why the other party cut off the relationship or is no longer present in this world (such as a disappearance of an airplane with their loved one in it. ).
If the dumper/deceased/disappeared person is unable or chooses not to explain the reasons for the disconnect; the dumpee is left with unanswered questions as to why there is a disconnect or why the person is no longer present in this or their world.
Unanswered questions can follow humans for their entire lives; therefore, keeping the wound from healing.
Often, even when answers are given, the soul can not always accept the response because it as foreign to their psyche just as an ancient language would be to us.
The article suggests that when the person accepts, that there are some mysteries that are unsolved as a mystery, the healing begins.
Accepting an explanation that there is no answer finally puts to rest the nagging questions. Just as accepting that we have electricity without completely knowing how it exists, but rather that it does exist lets the majority of us able to just use it, rather than worry over why it exits.
The article concludes that, Labelling helps the mourner deal with life and loss.