March 4, 2020
When to Help & When to Not


There are moral dilemmas in life.

Relatives or close friends who are ask others for major financial help create a struggle between ones conscience and practicality.

There are some major guidelines that one should observe to make the determination as to whether you should or should not help bail out the disadvantaged individual. (Should you feel impelled to do so.)

Immediate emergency due to illness or accident through no fault of their own. Anyone can need a hand up when emergencies strike them down.

First one should research whatever community or governmental utility that is available for the situation.

Then, one must access what ability one actually has to aid those in need.

Which one are you able to offer:
Compassion, financial assistance, street smart guidance and/or research?

Choose what you are capable of providing without destroying your own life.

Adults who have destroyed their health or finances due to continual poor choices are responsible for the consequences of their own actions.

Relatives and friends need to approach these situations with guarded care for themselves so that they are not pulled under by individuals who have victimized themselves.

One needs to ask oneself:
How long has this been going on?
What has the needy done for him, or herself, or themselves?
What outside resources are available to correct the circumstances?
Has aide in the past helped? Or was it used to continue the poor behaviors such as: spending money on drugs, alcohol, or unnecessary purchases?
Do they need to learn monetary budgets to improve their living conditions?
Are they motivated to work at improving themselves?

Go over the guide lines. If you are unable to utilize any of these-even for the qualified needy-then forget about trying to handle the incongruous.

If some of the guidelines are within your reach, ask yourself if you want to become an enabler of the lifestyle that led to the other's miserable situation.

The only one that can help a person is themself. If there is not a burning purpose and direction-walk away and tell them that they created it, now climb out of it.

If they are open to following suggestions, then give them. It is up to them to pursue it further.

Often relatives feel guilty for not being more supportive. However, often, recidivism of poor behavior drains the healthy well balanced families; while the faulty person's actions never ameliorate regardless of the amount of assistance and reinforcement offered.