April 1, 2005
April 1, 2005
As I strolled along the sidewalk-less streets an unknown teen screamed from his car, “bitch”. This is not the first encounter I’ve experienced with this misplaced rage which emanates mostly from youngsters. It put me in mind of the recent trend of mindless school massacres. These angry children are hurting. Their mind is in turmoil.
We are all looking for answers to this most troubling phenomena. My first thought is: it tells us much more about who they are than who we are. Labeling a stranger with negative connotations is prejudicial stereotyping. It is the essence of the basic terrorist’s motivation.
To have such rage may stem from ones upbringing. Today’s parents in the U.S. both work in order that their children may have the best education and accompanying enhancing activities that can be provided. Yet, certain undetermined amount of youths can not thrive unless there is more hands on-one to one attention.
I have suggested that instead of ritalin to calm a child appearing to have ADD that the physician, teacher and parent attend to the child with positive instructions as often as possible. That small client improved most effectively after the medication was withdrawn and replaced with the diligent caring efforts of all concerned. The point that I am making is that we give love, but if it is not perceived as caring from the youngsters viewpoint, the child acts out in aggressive or antisocial ways. Love at a distance of a soccer field or as a recipient of toys and clothes can not be felt as deeply as love with a hug, a kiss and continual words of encouragement.
Wives (and occasionally husbands), whose spouse works long hours to help provide for economic security, also become enraged when there is no time to share the joys and sorrows of daily living. Often the reason for the partner’s absence is disregarded because the hurt of feeling abandoned is greater than the logical reason as to why it happened. See "The Child Within." 2-18-05
Gifts to children or to spouses do not make up for the loss of a feeling of love. Sending children to scheduled activities of soccer, martial arts, music lessons, etc. is fine as long as there is additional time for family unity and caring.
Time, affection, positive affirmations for even the tinniest amount of correct behavior, and tuning in to understand how and what another is feeling, how s/he is assessing today’s culture will create a healthy environment for humans, whether they are young or old. Put yourself in the shoes of your loved one. Feel how you would react in similar circumstances. Express empathy.
Give of yourself. That is the greatest most precious present that can be obtained and often it is the most unobtainable. How sad. Our culture is hurting from the loss of it. Each of us can examine our lives. Slow them down in order to give the diamonds of the heart a chance to shine.