April 13, 2007

Control Issues
No one can control another person without their permission. Adherence may be granted because of fear, force, torture, coercion due to: belief systems of role rights, parental rights, government rights, religious rights, cultural rights or simply feeling trapped. In whatever way the consent was obtained, until the individual agrees to direct ones brain to say, do, or accept a circumstance. NO ONE can obtain the determined change until the brain makes that neurotransmitter alteration.

Control may be over the frequency or type of sex performed, the type or manner of dressing and clothes worn, the amount of money that should or can be spent , the availability of cars or other types of transportation, the amount of freedom to come and go as one pleases or talk to whom one wishes, or worse yet, the restriction of resources for survival.

In order to determine the validity of the relationship. One must determine whether the control is realistic, fatal, or a fantasy, fear, insecurity of the other. Is it a survival issue? Get out now if so. Does it cover more than one area of concern or is it frequently used in almost all areas of ones life? If every area is directed continually by another, then it is probably more than a control issue. The person who is trying to be in charge may be extremely insecure, or mentally ill, not just on a power trip. Even if force has not been as yet applied, your compliance will not prevent this from happening, because the “Controller” will never be content. So leave the situation immediately.

If the Regulator is reasonable, then determine the cause of the insecurity that causes that person to react as s/he does. Perhaps ones background has led to belief systems which differ from your own. If negotiations break down, seek a counselor.

More importantly one must remember whether you are the regulator or the one who feels a freedom is being restricted(victim), that only the individual can determine the firing and chemicals which make the adjustment to behavior. In other words you can refuse to accept the victim mentality.

Permanent compliance must benefit the adhering party in some manner so that s/he will willing want to continue to alter his/her life style for the duration of the contracted agreement. Be aware that there is no way to enter the brain’s neurological systems, other than with total acceptance. Therefore, I repeat, In other words you can refuse to accept the victim mentality and quite amazingly you will take the proper action that is needed to refuse the helpless role.