April 16, 2006

Bear Mentality
When you visit the parks that have bears you are warned to not feed them because if you do not have enough food, the bear will attack you for more. Bears are unable to discern that there is no more to be had and become angry that their needs are not met.

It just occurred to me that cats, at least the one I owned was able to make that determination. I was eating a cucumber that was Saber’s favorite food. I shared it with him and when it was gone, he pestered me for more. However, when I showed him that my hands were empty, he stopped his pawing me for more and went about his normal activities.

Strangely some individuals have a bear mentality. I have cases where men are angry when their wife is unable to service them due do a painful illness. I have had cases where women are angry with their spouses because the spouse (even though he works long hours) is unable to make what the wife believes should be her life style level. Often this level is unrealistically expecting a millionaires existence on the lower half of $50,00 per year. Children often have the bear mentality when they want material things that are beyond the budget of the parents. Adult children have a bear mentality when they expect and/or demand nurturing behaviors from their parents well into their adult lives.

Bear mentality may be caused by a chemical imbalance in adults and occasionally in children. Usually children are a blank slate one can alter by giving them responsibility and allowing them to fulfill it without nagging them. (They are “cats”.) However, adults are not so easily restructured. In fact, the individuals which possess bear mentalities do not view that it as their problem.

It would be wonderful if there could be a constructive answer to every ill in the world. Unfortunately, that is not always possible. Bear mentalities are seldom altered by understanding or by reasoning. The only hope is that it is a chemical imbalance that might be corrected by medication prescribed by a physician. The only other course of action is to withdraw from the bear as quickly and effectively as possible. Often people with bear mentalities have other wonderful qualities and if you are able to accept and cope with the disability then remain with the bear, but with caution.