April 29, 2019
April 29, 2019
Men Have Feelings Too!
ALERT TO WOMEN: Before you throw out your husband for not responding to your needs, consider his.
A large majority of men find it difficult to process overwhelming emotions. Biologically the Limbic system (which is the brain area in which emotions are processed) is significantly smaller than a women's limbic system. This Is a gender problem in long term relationships.
Women expect men to process emotions the way that they do. Women state: I wouldn't respond to that comment/ action/ behavior in that way! No of course not because they are women and have a limbic system in the brain about the size of a fist which allows them to consider the ramifications of their efforts on themselves and others.
Men unintentionally hurt women's feelings by a remark that they feel is of no consequence because if such a remark was made to them, they would not take offense. Men's experiences and view of the world do not always overlap with women's experiences; and when they do, their view on it, is contrary to the opposite gender.
Many men when deeply hurt (for example their beloved dog dies) will withdraw from life for a time. A beloved family member dies and males often take longer to process the grief. The spouse often feels unloved due to the male's inattentiveness towards them and conflict ensures.
Male grief can also implode when he is overwhelmed with financial and/or emotional problems.
If a spouse suddenly begins to alter personality traits there can be a number of brain dysfunctions that could be happening. One very common biological problem is the restriction of the brain's blood flow due to poor diet, atmospheric chemicals in the area of his work place, smoking, or a genetic dysfunction not previously apparent.
Even minor brain concussions Dr. Daniel Amen states, can affect the prefrontal lobes and influence the filter system so that poor judgements emerge at a later time.
Many young men have played sports that have created brain injuries that do not always appear immediately.
Men who are suddenly thrust into an unexpected incident may take flight. With time the male as he emotionally recovers may be able to access the situation and act culturally correct.
Therefore, if and when your husband/significant other does not share your reaction to an event, ask yourself some questions.
Ask your self: Has he undergone any life change that you know of?
Has he had a complete physical check up lately? Was there any hits to is head ever in his background? Did he ever have the communication skills to handle everyday life let alone an extra burden of stress?
Even if you cannot find the reasons yourself, before you quit the marriage, try counseling as a couple Often learning gender communications skills corrects and eliminates many misunderstandings and arguments.
In an attempt to rebalance himself a male may turn to drinking, an affair, or a need for extreme activities. These are not the norm, yet fall into the category of extraordinary situations.