May 23, 2008

ADULT TIME OUT
A male client confessed to me that he was sceptical when I told him that when he and his wife have differences to put them on hold for one hour. Then after the elapsed time, if either of them can remember what they were angry about, to discuss them. He said he was amazed that it worked. That he could not remember what the issue was. I checked with the wife and she smiled as she agreed how effective this was.

My daughter came up with this formula. When I reminded her she said that i had told her. It really does not matter where the idea originated, it is effective for minor spats.

If there still is a major problem after the time out, then think about the pros and cons and if necessary use a mediator, but find a solution for the problem. However, most discontents arise from everyday events such as: stress, hunger, or exhaustion. Some people do not function as well at certain times in the day. Take note of the hours that cause complaints and remain quiet. Notice your physical feelings. They may be contributing to the fights. I noticed that when I entertained, that my back would begin to ache and then I would become irritable. I asked for help and I got it. I was able to stave off the back ache and the contentious behavior resulting from it. Observe yourself to identify your feelings and needs. Correct whatever events that need a physicians help.

Even my two year old great granddaughter understands the necessity of monitoring ones self. The other day she told her mom that she needed a time out. She put herself in her room and cried for five minutes. She came out of her room and stated that she felt O.K now. We can learn from out kids. Take an hour time out. Enjoy life with the peacefulness that will ensue.