May 25, 2007
May 25, 2007

Long Term vs. Short Term Relationships

I received an e-mail that disturbed me although the sender did not mean it to be of negative content. The message was: “Take every bit of joy out of every day and dance with it.”

I wrote back: “I dance everyday, but choose the dance that I do. I do not indiscriminately take every thread of joy, for I have found that that can lead to long term suffering.”

My concern about that attitude derives from the many haphazard sexual unions that originate from the overpowering chemicals such as oxytocin in our body that overrides decision making. Examples of this flood the TV screens. It looks romantic and probably feels that way too when the couple after only one date find themselves copulating. However, if the union does continue to a stable relationship or marriage (long term), eventually the pair must confront their despairing or unpleasant personalities. Do not misinterpret what I am saying. I am not suggesting that all coupling leads to an unpleasant conclusion, but with more inspection of the contents of the total relationship a number of mismatched couples would not get past the initial dates.

Sex is a powerful cementing tool for women. Both parties often require no further experimentation with others. That can be affirmative if the choices were selected from the intellect and not the hormones.

Allowing time for the primitive desires to ebb without acting on the (short term) physical aspects of the relationship grants thoughtful consideration as to whether this individual will make a happy (long term) partner.

The older generation who espoused virginity at marriage had some competent ideas. Think about your actions because it is no longer just youth sleeping around, but all age groups. Ask yourself “Am I certain that this Short term choice will bring the Long term consequences which I desire?”

Sex is only one example of using Short term decisions vs. Long Term selections. Weighing the consequences of immediate preferences against Long term outcomes helps to raise children better, aids in career choices and improves everyday alternatives.