May 9, 2015
How This Counselor Improves Relationships
Below are some of the ways that the counselor proceeds by identifying the issues and then creating an environment so that the Harmonious purpose may be achieved.

This is achieved by developing an awareness of the issues and developing a self-determining relationship with the GUIDANCE FROM THIS COUNSELOR.

PERMANENT RESULTS continue as long as the clients use the skills and the understandings for the rest of their lives. Less behavioural disturbances in the family's children have been reported as they reflect the improved life style of the parents. Also happily reported is improved working conditions; some resulted in an increase in pay!

In order to proceed the counselor must establish the client's goals/objectives.

At this point, it is necessary to determine what the real issue(s) are.

Then the counselor gives and illustrates the TOOLS THAT WILL HELP THE CLIENT to HELP him/her/their/ self: such as communication skills.

SOME OF THE ISSUES THAT MIGHT OCCUR:

1. UNDERSTANDING THE DIFFERENCES OF GENDER PERSPECTIVES

2. Understanding and defining the cultural differences.

3. Understanding and defining the life style differences from each other's childhood background

4. Understanding and defining the personality differences,and/or the differences in morals, values, and goals.

5. Seeing each person as a whole: Physical problems and brain dysfunction's can create huge life determining problems. Referring clients to the proper physicians for the proper treatment needed.

6. Correcting skewed perspectives that create a struggle for power instead of team work.

7. Learning to problem solve efficiently. Keeping objectivity in the discussions instead of personalising remarks. Dealing with past issues effectively.

8. Determining what the problem may be in sexual dysfunction and addressing the issues involved. Determining whether the problem is psychological or physical and referring- if necessary - to the proper source. Often the communication improvement is reflected in the sexual communication and no further assistance may be needed when verbal communication is improved.

9. In today's society financial problems cause a significant problem in relationships.
Teaching budgeting skills aids in some of those instances.

10. Time management and organisational skills may also be needed. Especially when one partner is shouldering all the burden of chores.

11. The choice as to whether to continue the relationship is always the clients. The counselor works to obtain the objectives of the clients.

12. There are instances where divorce or separation is beneficial for both parties. When a couple agreement is not reached; this action should not be considered a failure if that is the choice.
Any physical violence, or extreme controlling behavior. or continual denigrating the partner is best served by the offended party proceeding to enforce a cease and desist order. The correct procedures are determined by law. The victim is protected. The attacker must learn that there are consequences to actions that destroy another person's peace and harmony either emotionally or physically.

13. There may be a dark side in a very few cases. Each situation is handled according to what the specifics of the case are.

14. The counselor respects the wishes of the client. When the couple is not in accord as to their team goals; it is important to teach how to adjust and how to adapt to those differences.

Counseling is similar to a juggling act. Keeping all the balls in the air simultaneously while solving the crisis is challenging. Only after the crisis is past, does the real work, of improving the relationship, commence.