June 13, 2008

RELATIONSHIP REJECTION ISSUES
Beautiful women worry that they are not gorgeous enough or thin enough to attract and/or keep a man. Both sexes are concerned about their ability to perform sexually. Are we too old or too fat? Will we pick the right partner? Fear of trusting our own judgement comes into play when one has been verbally or physically abused or scammed out of money by a trusted lover or partner. Anxiety often creates the desire to withdraw from the dating scene. After being rejected by one’s own self or by others -for whatever reason -creates trust issues.

In today’s world, trust in one’s judgement which amounts to trusting yourself is a complex decision. Clients blame themselves for marrying an alcoholic. I had a girlfriend who was ashamed when she found out that she had married a con man. She divorced him, but expunged him from her memory. These stories do not help to stabilize the fears that disallow us to trust our own judgement. Yet, when we further victimize ourselves by expecting perfection of our bodies, behaviors, and emotions we create our own instability.

Initially trust must begin with oneself. Individuals must set their own standards and live as close to these as possible for them. Failure to do so should only result in trying to work more resolutely towards your goal. However make certain that your objectives come from a physical and emotional mentally healthy standard. Bodily beauty for its sake should be translated into health issues. The amount that one weighs can be balanced by a physician’s guidance. Sexual problems, abuse, anxiety or any other relationship problems can be aided by physicians, and counselors.

Once your standards are corrected then your objective assessment of a partner may begin. See the next article in the Sound Observer for that segment.