August 10, 2010
August 10, 2010
Where Are You Headed?
If you were stranded in a dark cave with only a peephole of light shining though; where would you head? Towards the light, of course. Now think of the tiny illumination as positive thoughts and the darkness as negative thoughts. Unfortunately most people head for the blackest moments instead of seeking whatever good they can obtain from the horrendous life experiences.
One client of mine clung so strongly to the traumatic event of her life that she became angry when I tried to steer her into a happier place. She felt that happiness would take her Attacker off the hook. Actually, she was hooked, line and sinker just as the Attacker wanted her to be. The best defence for getting even with someone who causes you pain is to slough off the pain and be peaceful.
However, most of the painful moments in our lives are not traumatic, just frustrating to the point of engaging our ire. Why not make a list of every good event in your life with that person. Having trouble thinking of any? Try harder. If there is truly not one time -even in courtship- that you were happy with this individual- why are you with him/her? For those of you who have discovered/uncovered the secreted pleasant time(s)-then present them to your loved one and request that you build on that to create a better relationship.
I am not suggesting that this is an easy approach to your issues, but how easy is it to be resentful and angry daily?
It is amazing how well this works. Try it. I have. I toss out my negativity and hold on to my happiness. How did I do that? I asked myself if I was happy being miserable. The answer was “No”. So I told myself, “Work on being blissful”.
A smile is so much better than a frown. It wins friends and helps your body fight off disease because it improves the immune system to fight infection. Besides, having a loving relationship, you will be healthy and HAPPY!