August 20, 2014
August 20, 2014
Gender Priorities get both genders in trouble.
A woman may say, “I am hungry. Let’s eat now”.
The man might respond, “It’s too early to eat. We can go to a nice restaurant later.”
Often a female ( dating a man and sometimes even if it is his wife) might withdraw and fester. She begins to think that he just had a snack so he is not hungry!. However, she will let it go until she is famished and irritable. Then she begins a tirade about how inconsiderate he is. How he only does what pleases him. That he could not possibly love her because he does not care that she is starving. And so forth, building to a crescendo that is at maximum volume. The woman is ready to call the relationship quits.
The man listens to the tirade. Very often does not remember the former exchange, so he is taken aback with the rage screamed at him. He often feels that the women is crazy or must be at her time of the month. He either excuses her behavior based on his rationale or decides to end the relationship due to the loud persistent noise that he is unable to interrupt to find out the cause of the dissent. (Women reading this will think, “What? the cause is clear. To women , YES. To men NO. That is the gender factor of which I am writing about. )
In fact should he question her intent and mentions that he has no recollection of her being hungry; he fuels the growing inferno. He has been honest. He is confused as to why she has become incensed.
The female becomes so enraged that she disallows him to speak. Her frustration level has reached the highest level of hypertension that one can have. She may need to be hospitalised for stress which only confirms the mans’ opinion that she is out of control.
The lady needs to respond immediately with factual information about the reason she must eat at that precise time. It might be that she is diabetic, or that she had no breakfast this morning or that she did not have a snack when her did. Whatever facts that pertain to the situation should be pronounced immediately.
If the man still persists in saying wait, she should prepare her own food. if a kitchen is not available, then simply state: “I need to eat now.” Then proceed to go to get herself food. Leave in a car-walk away, etc.
Men often get focused on their priorities and actually forget what they heard a few minuets earlier. A women waiting for a man who has already clearly defined that he was going to wait, will wait to eat. It has nothing to do with not loving her. He needs to hear facts. He needs to be told in a firm voice what solution the lady has decided upon and then notice that she follows through with that decision.
Women need to follow through. They often state, “ I am leaving to get dinner” and then stay. That behavior comes across to a male as a threat. Often the male might respond, “In just a minute,” and then continue with whatever he was presently doing. He may even move on to another project. This really infuriates the women as she believes that not only did he not listen, but that he did not care.
Not caring is the biggest sin for a women in a relationship. She questions herself as to why is she in that marriage if he does not love her? Therefore the stakes have gone up thousands of percentage points higher than the original discourse.
All due to gender priorities that can be attended to, once there is an understanding and willingness to find solutions.