August 3, 2007

LOVE?
What is your definition of love?

Watching the TV sitcoms and movies the characters fall into bed with each other, often within the same night of meeting. Then, apparently they discover they love one another and decide to live together and maybe get married. When life gets tough, they cheat on each other, and separate. If one partner becomes ill, mentally or physically the characters become altruistic and stay (i.e. sometimes). However, that is seldom the plot so that the perseverance that is needed in a long term relationship is seldom acknowledged.

What does the younger generation believe of love? The illusion that a couple will forever want to be in each other’s company? Isn’t that why we have these fairy tale weddings? How can a lie (illusion) sustain a marriage? It doesn’t. That is why the divorce rate in this country is approximately 50% of all marriages performed.

Let’s explore what love is. Most of us forbear to love our children even when their actions and verbalizations may be unpleasant, disgusting and/or hateful. We do not extend this unconditional loving to our spouses nor should we. However, humans have a difficult time accepting the differences of life styles, goals, morals, and the occasional slip from grace. Getting married because of an overpowering feeling does not grant a smooth relationship; in fact, it almost guarantees a rocky one.

Long time commitments endure financial, emotional, social, and physical down times. In order for “love” to survive, one has to eliminate the sexual overtones and persevere.

Anything worth having is worth working towards, not thrown away when one grows tired of the facade. I wonder if we told our youths the truth how many would be willing to really learn the significance of enduring love?

My hat goes off to those who have stayed and weathered all of life’s blasts. They are the bedrock of America. That is love.