September 11, 2012
Comedian Roast's Toast
When celebrity comedians roast another celebrity comedian, the Roasting Participants all know that the put downs are funny because they are ludicrously opposite to the truth. The audience knows that also, and therefore, everyone laughs good-naturedly.

However, when we use put down humor, the target and the audience may not be aware that the joke is well-meaning as they may believe that the joke is purely factual and meant to debase.

When I was thinking of writing this, I was going to use as an example a stock market guru. However, as well as I and a large audience of individuals know that he is well known for his ability to buy good stocks and make a profit for everyone; there may be many others who have no idea who he is. So if I were to laughingly say,”XXX X has not 5 cents to his name.” I might just create a rumor resulting in wall street chaos.

Therefore, I am not going to use anyone's name as an example. Instead I am cautioning jokers to be aware that the person you are mocking, may indeed feel mocked. Only when individuals have a strong self esteem can they laugh at themselves or laugh along knowing that the information is hilarious. Also, the audience must have the same opinion that the person is worthy and not reject the recipient of the humor. Unfortunately, If the recipient does not feel good about him/herself the joke will be taken as a rejection of oneself.

Good friends, relationship partners, marital partners, most especially, need to be aware when they have been warned by the targeted individual that they are hurt or do not view the humor as laughable: to accept that definition and not intrude on the others inner conception of self. Also along with that theme, it would help the low esteemed individual to hear very specific favourable comments on his or her activities. Note that I stated specific. Do not generalise. Instead the statement should go something like this: “When you just (put in behavior here that shows that you acknowledge and approve of it) that shows to me that ( state the positive effect that it has on you or on others).

An example of how to be specific: When you just treated your friend with such respect by asking “Are you feeling upset now?”, it makes me and your friend feel very wanted. It shows me that you’re a very caring person.